THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

BARISAN RAKYAT SHALL FORM THE NEXT GOVERNMENT!

SOS

SOS
nation in distress

The World Anthem


WE ARE ALL OF 1 RACE, THE HUMAN RACE.


07/04/2018

NAJIB'S ECRL $55 BILLION INFLATED FRAUD SUMMARIZED!

by E.S. Shankar, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for dreamworks locomotive affairs


1. Project - 688km single electrified track built on double tracking formation, running from Port Kelang on the West Coast to Kuantan and Tumpat in the East Coast.

2. Expected completion date - 2024.

3. Original budget - RM27 billion. The key to the success of ECRL is freight volume/income, not passenger numbers.

4. Najib-inflated final fraudulent contract amount - RM55 billion, i.e. extra RM28 billion. Refer Sarawak Report article dated 26 July 2016, about three months BEFORE Najib announced the contract. Najib's crony Jho Low is a co-conspirator in yet another massive fraud perpetrated on Malaysia. CLICK HERE and HERE.

5. Contractor - Communications Construction Company (CCC) a Communist China state-owned company.


6. True Cost? - Likely to exceed RM100 billion, taking into account land acquisition, compensation to settlers, China loan interest, train operating losses for the first ten years (based on current GROSS LOSS incurred by KTM for 2012-2015) and contingency costs. See compound interest tables below.







7. How? - By fictitious additional scope of works, fake invoices, money-laundering and creative accounting.

8. Why? - To part-plug huge hole created in 1MDB's balance sheet by Najib, Rosmah, Jho Low, Riza Aziz and 3 Arabs.

9. Proof of Najib's fraud:
  1. NO OPEN TENDER for public contract awarded to CCC blacklisted by World Bank for fraud and shoddy work.
  2. Najib and Malaysian government have not sued Sarawak Report or its editor Clare Rewcastle-Brown of London.
  3. Current KTM train freight volume for the whole of Malaysia is about 6.2 million metric tons. In order to achieve 53 million metric tons by 2030 for ECRL alone, freight volume will have to grow by about  20% compounded every year between now and 2030 (next 12 years)!
  4. As far as anyone knows, ECRL has not signed any new guaranteed minimum freight volume contract with China or anyone else.
  5. Loan interest @ 3.25% p.a. when countries like Japan are offering under 2% p.a.
  6. No proper project papers or projections have been publicly disclosed as it has all been kept under wraps under the Official Secrets Act (OSA). This is a standard Najib ploy for all no open tender and directly negotiated contracts despite being funded 100% by the Malaysian Taxpayer.

10. Ten reasons why we don't need RM55 billion ECRL. CLICK HERE.

11. What is the one sure proof that this is a massive fraud by Najib? Najib and UMNO/BN all sing the same song that the ECRL RM55 billion inflated fraud is a "Foreign Direct Investment". It is no such thing. Every single cent of of the more than eventual RM100 billion cost/debt will have to be repaid by the Malaysian Taxpayer to CCC and Communist China.

Vote serial liar and defrauder Najib and his UMNO/BN government of thieves OUT! OUT! OUT!

21/03/2018

PTPTN A DISASTER OF QURANIC PROPORTIONS WAITING TO EXPLODE! POSSIBLE RM8-13 BILLION NPL! PAY UP YOU CHEATS!

by E.S. Shankar, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for borrow don't pay affairs




Perbadanan Tabung Pendidikan Tinggi Nasional, PTPTN, or the National Higher Education Fund Corporation, was established in 1997 by the government to enable students to borrow money cheaply to finance their tertiary education, locally.

To put it simply, PTPTN's business model is a recipe for a disaster that has mostly, already happened.

Why and how? Numbers do not lie, they tell us the story.

1. It's obvious that even if PTPTN were to double its annual income to RM2 billion, it will still lose money. After expenses, it cannot cover about RM1.7 billion annual interest cost on RM40.35 billion loans, with interest running @ about 4.2 % p.a.

2. The only reason PTPTN has shown profits is because, between 2011-2016 alone, Najib gave PTPTN RM8.3 billion in FREE GRANTS! 

3. Without this annual freebie, PTPTN would have gone bust many years ago! So, Taxpayers are well entitled to ask how top management can be held accountable for performance, if Najib and his administration are waiting round the corner with an open cheque book for any amount to bail them out?

4. NON-PERFORMING LOANS (NPL) AS HIGH AS RM13 BILLION?

EPF and bank loans total RM40.35 billion against Student Loan Debtors of RM40.2 billion. However, this is highly misleading, as there seems to be a massive under-provision for NPL bad debts @ RM108 million or 0.25% of debtors.

PTPTN has admitted that it was due to collect RM18.81 billion between 1997-2016, but actually collected only RM10.72 billion, a shortfall of RM8 billion.

It also revealed that some 660,000 borrowers had not repaid a single cent! CLICK HERE.

Between diploma and degree holders, the average loan per student outstanding, as shown in the accounts, is about RM20,000. Using these figures, the NPL could be:

660,000 x 20,000 = RM13.2 billion! So, the disclosure that $8 billion makes up arrears overdue by more than 1 year, needs explanation from PTPTN. 

5. In his 2018 budget, Najib has agreed that the Federal Govt, i.e. YOU AND ME, THE TAXPAYER, will generously absorb hundreds of millions of ringgit that PTPTN has been writing off each for loans given to first class degree graduates, as well as discounts for early loan settlements. In 2016, this amounted to RM288 million and RM94 million respectively. Between 2013-2016 the total figures are RM662 million and RM443 million! How generous of Najib to put us all in more debt!

6. PTPTN has also done some astounding things:

a. In 2016, it borrowed an additional RM5.15 billion in Islamic sukuk funding from local banks. Does it expect to increase its other income by funding it with 100% borrowed money? PTPTN paid RM9 million in fees for this sukuk funds.

b. It made additional payments of RM406,549 and RM513,554 to "important employees", averaging more than RM40,000 per person. No details are available as to the exact nature of these payments, why these 11 persons deserved it and if it was over and above their annual bonus. This is a disease that seems to afflict many a GLC and govt corporation under Najib. Regardless of the financial position or performance fiasco at that entity (e.g. FGVH), top management can get away with paying themselves huge salaries, bonuses and perks!
















c. There is no explanation why salary cost increased by 17% in 2016.

d. Other than one Chinese, the rest of 25 persons comprising Chairman, CEO, Board members and top management pictured in the 2016 report, some of  whom are government-appointed (including Attorney General Apandi Ali), are ALL Malay/Bumi. Why is this so?

7. So, is there a solution to this nightmare? I did not cause the problem. But, here's my thinking:

a. Firstly, after 20 years, PTPTN must bite the bullet and write off all bad debts. Much of it might be due to deaths, emigration or poor documentation and record keeping. This basically means that somewhere between RM8-13 billion, or up to about 33%, MAY NEVER BE COLLECTED. What in reality is the worst case scenario?

b. Next, all the Bank Loans should be re-negotiated and lending banks forced to take a big haircut. Let them take a hit as part of national service, like WE THE TAXPAYERS.

c. Stop all waivers for first class graduates and early settlement discounts. The interest charge is low. If you don't believe it, try borrowing on commercial terms from banks. The government must make available funds for PTPTN at the same rock-bottom cost of funds as for Bank Negara/MoF/Treasury.

d. PTPTN and the govt must go all out on a debt-recovery blitz. Goddammit, just publish the full defaulters list at its website, in all the newspapers, air the names of  the most recalcitrant borrowers on TV and Radio and take legal action without guilt.

Basically, all these irresponsible borrowers want two bites of the cherry. They got a PTPTN loan which is already funded with Taxpayers money and subsidised low interest, enabling them to get a degree and a higher paying job. Now, when it comes to repayment of that loan, they are asking the Taxpayer to subsidise their loans again with discounts, rebates and waivers! Have you no shame? You borrowed, you pay! It's a struggle? Yes! But, it was not any better for the older generation either. Many of us got nothing from our government, not 1 cent. We too struggled and slaved and stinged and cut corners so that the next generation could get a head start and good benefits. You have a right to higher education, but not the right to pass the burden of your cheap loan to others.

e. The PTPTN Top management and downline staffing should be re-structured to employ more proven professionals and be more inclusive.

f. Our education system should be revamped, like yesterday. Right now, many are pursuing degrees with no proper grades or interest, resulting in them not being able to find relevant well-paying jobs. Bring back vocational schools, so that there will be an additional avenue for young people to acquire practical skills which will allow them to earn decent, living wages.

8. Only then will we have a true and clear picture of the Taxpayer bailout that is required. Let not Najib pretend that it's a government or UMNO bail out. Whichever way one looks at it, it's the Taxpayer who is going to be walloped.

9. Where to find the money? Easy:
a. Cut the Minister of Education's salary for goofing and the MoE budget for wastage. The Minister and his top executives at the Ministry must be whacked for the PTPTN mess.
b. Cut Najib's PMO over-bloated and ridiculous RM17 billion budget by at least RM10 billion.
c. Abolish the Federal JAKIM and save RM1 billion a year, as religion is a State matter.
d. Stop ALL scholarships to Pakistan, Indonesia and the Middle East countries, especially for religious studies. If I am going to subsidise some unknown's education in the national interest, and I am not totally against it, it will not be to countries where our youth get brainwashed to become ISIS and/or Taliban extremists with bomb-making expertise.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

17/03/2018

WERE EPF, FELDA, RHB & OTHER GLCS LIKE FELCRA, KWAP ETC. SCAMMED FOR RM BILLIONS?

by boinie madhoff, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for too-good-to-be-true glc investment affairs



The following people and companies/organizations are REAL, not FAKE:

1. Najib
2. Datuk Seri Siti Azizah Sheik Abod - Special Officer (Pegawai Khas) to Najib.


3. Musa Aman - Chief Minister of Sabah
4. Isa Samad - ex-MB of Negeri Sembilan, once suspended by UMNO for money-politics, ex-FGVH Plc & Felda Chairman.
5. Bung Moktar Radin - Chairman of Felcra, Kinabatangan, Sabah MP
6. Gyorgy Matrai - founder of Limage Holdings S.A., Luxembourg.
7. "Dr." George Miller - convicted conman & founder of Ladylaw Securities Pte. Ltd., Singapore. Died early 2014.



8. Nic Manikis - current MD of Ladylaw, an Australian and much respected (in Australia) retired civil servant.

9. Azlan Shah bin Md Radzi - Ladylaw Project Co-ordinator and TJJR Diversified (M) S/B CEO.

10. Junaidah binti Husin - Director TJJR.

11. Fauziatul Noor binti Husin - Director, TJJR.
12. Jaafar bin Rihan - EPF GM Islamic Financing

13. Dato Azhary Ramly - UMNO Division Chief.

14. Clare Rewcastle-Brown and Sarawak Report.
15. The Australian newspaper.
16. EPF, Felda, Felcra, KWAP, RHB Bank, Sabah government and Ministry of Finance (MoF).

What appears to have happened is that Matrai and Miller managed to contact Najib sometime in 2012 or so. They made various proposal, with Najib's explicit support, for GLCs to invest in multi-billion ringgit property and other "deals" with promises of pie in-the-sky returns on investments and hefty profits/commissions for themselves. Miller passed away early 2014. Subsequently some new proposals were made by Miller's replacement, Nik Manikis.

Sarawak Report has broken the news of what appears to be a massive scam to misuse EPF's investments in RM10.64 billion of government guaranteed Tenaga and PLUS bonds.




The crooks had planned to use these highly rated EPF-owned bonds as collateral to borrow money from overseas banks/financial institutions and others for their own dud investments :

"Extensive evidence has emerged of an extraordinary operation to loot Malaysia’s public savings funds and pass billions of dollars into accounts controlled by individuals answering to Prime Minister Najib Razak. Following an investigation spanning several months, Sarawak Report has sighted numerous documents which reveal that since 2012 a group of operatives, assisted by two convicted foreign fraudsters, have collaborated to extract billions of dollars from EPF, KWAP, FELDA, FELCRA and other public savings funds and government linked companies.

The scheme was to invest the public money into risky, foreign investment vehicles owned by the two unlicensed foreign fraudsters (both previously jailed for financial crimes) in return for major kickbacks targeted into a small Malaysian company named TJJR Diversified (M) Sdn Bhd."

Sarawak Report has written extensively about this as well as another proposal by little-known TJJR Sdn. Bhd. for an incredible RM47 billion 'Integrated Medical Cities' project. TJJR CEO Azlan Shah is also Ladylaw's "Project Co-ordinator":

1. Ten Billion In Bonds Looted From EPF To Raise Four Billion Dollars For Najib. CLICK HERE.
2. Secret Mega-Hospital Or A Scheme To Save Billions? CLICK HERE.
3. Najib Pushed Malaysian savings Fund To Invest More Billions With Another Convicted Foreign Fraudster. CLICK HERE.
4. Fake News From EPF? CLICK HERE.

There also appears to have been another huge "deal" with Felda,  for US$1 billion or RM3.12 billion, initiated through its then Chairman, Isa Samad.

Predictably EPF has denied that any such thing happened with carefully worded statements, as did RHB Bank.

But, this matter cannot be dismissed so easily, particularly since Nic Manikis has come out in Australia. He has revealed that he and TJJR have been threatened with lawsuits by UMNO Division Chief Dato Azhary Ramli for US$25 million or RM 100 million commissions due to him on the very deals that EPF and RHB are denying ever took place.

More than that, Manaikis also confirmed that his attempts "enjoyed the support of Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak" in an interview with The Australian newspaper.

So, the possibilities are:

1. It never happened.
2. It happened, but the respective managements stopped the scams before any real damage took place.
3. It happened and there is a massive cover-up going on.

If it never happened, then:

1. Why is, of all people an UMNO Dato, Azhary Ramly, openly threatening to sue two parties for US$ 100 million (RM100 million), and embarrassing his own leader Najib?
2. Why did Najib's Special Assistant Siti Azizah chase Felda to move its butt?
3. Is Isa Samad's letter below to Azlan Shah of 1st April 2013 confirming  Felda's investment decision and instructions to transfer US$1 billion via HSBC London, a FAKE letter?



Could thousands of letters and documents be forged by someone  or a group, just to discredit Najib and his UMNO/BN? What is the likelihood that with the general elections coming any time now and Najib's track record of the 1MDB/SRC RM46 billion and ECRL RM55 billion fraud, that another massive fraud (or two) has actually taken place for "buy election" funds?

Why have The Australian and the Canberra Times front-page news on this issue if they do not smell blood? CLICK HERE.

And what do these pictures above and below tell us? Are they all FAKES? Are we so far, only looking at the tip of the iceberg?

Your guess is as good as mine!






13/03/2018

NO WATER CRISIS OR SHORTAGE IN SELANGOR! RUBBISH SPIN BY NAJIB/UMNO/BN. NAJIB/SPAN/SPLASH AT FAULT!

by E.S. Shankar, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for aquatic affairs

These are the FACTS:

1. SPLASH - Syarikat Pengeluaran Air Sungai Selangor Sdn. Bhd. was awarded a 30-year concession to build, operate and maintain a water plant in 2000 by the Selangor state government, which at that time, was under UMNO/BN. This SPLASH plant is called SSP3.

(a) Its shareholders are:

(i) 40% - Gamuda Plc (quoted on KLSE).
ii) 30% - Sweet Water Alliance Sdn. Bhd., controlled by Wan Azmi bin Wan Hamzah.
(iii) 30% - Kumpulan Perangsang Selangor (KPS), owned 100% by Selangor state government. 

(b). So, 70% control of SPLASH (Gamuda/Wan Azmi) lies in the hands of UMNO cronies who were given a sweetheart 30-year concession deal expiring in 2030. How sweet? They had invested $400 million, and by 2012, recovered $725 million in dividends!!! KPS is, therefore, a minority shareholder and passive investor. It does not have voting or board of directors control.

2. SYABAS - Syarikat Bekalan Air Selangor Sdn. Bhd. is owned 100% by the Selangor state government. It's job is to purchase treated water and/or operate water plants and supply treated water to consumers in the State.

3. The recent 4-day water interruption in Selangor, affecting Shah Alam in particular, occurred because of failures at the SPLASH-owned SSP3 plant operated AND maintained by SPLASH. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SYABAS/SELANGOR STATE GOVERNMENT.

4. It transpires that SPLASH had not carried out repair on three pumps since 2016. A fourth faulty pump exploded after repairs and during the re-activation process, causing injuries to 5 workers. The following newspaper reports are proof of that:

(a) CLICK HERE. 'SPLASH to blame for extended water disruption'.
(b) CLICK HERE. 'Should concession deal with SPLASH be axed'.
(c) CLICK HERE. 'Don't blame state government for water supply disruption, says Azmin.'
(d) CLICK HERE. 'Azmin: If you dare, blame PM Najib for Selangor water cuts.'

5. SPLASH BUYOUT

(a) SYABAS has been in discussion since 2008 to buy out SPLASH.

(b) SPLASH is asking for $4 billion or $2.5 billion net of loans.

(c) Ex-Selangor MB Khalid Ibrahim had offered to buy out SPLASH for $250 million, net of loans. This was not unreasonable since SPLASH was a sweetheart deal from which UMNO cronies had profited astronomically. Predictably, SPLASH had rejected that offer as "derisory"!

(d) SYABAS and the Selangor government hold a trump card in that they can legally terminate SPLASH for its poor maintenance record and debt. Click below for details of SPLASH valuation and sale offers.

CLICK HERE. 'The SPLASH issue explained'.
CLICK HERE. 'SPLASH In The Offing'.
CLICK HERE. 'Federal Govt Urged To Terminate SPLASH'.

6. Why blame Najib? Because:

(a) He and UMNO/BN's spindoctoring machinery spun into action and pointed the fingers at Selangor Menteri Besar (Chief Minister) Azmin. They manufactured a "crisis" where none existed.

(b) There is no water shortage or crisis in Selangor. All the dams are full and Selangor has just completed the $177 million Semenyih Water Treatment Plant in Dengkil!

(c) Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Air Negara (SPAN) or The National Water Services Commission, is a super-Quango created by Najib & UMNO in 2008. It has been negligent in monitoring SPLASH's maintenance lapses. But then, what can we expect from Quangos like SPAN and SPAD, comprising numerous committees. As we all know, a camel is a horse created by a committee.

7. In the final analysis, we know that Najib was really scraping the bottom of the barrel when he thought he had quite wittily replied to Azmin's question on wastage and opportunity cost lost in his debt interest budget of $31 billion, by saying:

" The water situation in Selangor is even more critical." CLICK HERE.

This is among the lows we have hit with serial liars and 1MDB/SRC $46 billion and ECRL $55 billion defrauders, looters and plunderers like Najib and his UMNO/BN government of thieves, as:

(a) The Selangor water interruption, caused by UMNO cronies' negligence, was never a crisis or critical. It was resolved in about 4 days! There was NEVER any water shortage.

(b) Last week, the US Department of Justice confiscated the $1 billion yacht 'Equanimity' owned by Jho Low and his family, in Indonesia. It also announced that Najib's step-son and Rosmah's on Riza Azizi, had agreed to pay a fine of US$60 million= RM240 million,  with no admission of guilt, stemming from kleptocracy and money-laundering charges. Both relate to money looted from 1MDB by Najib, Jho Low, Rosmah and Riza Aziz.

Yet 1MDB's Chairman, directors and CEO, the MoF, Najib, his Ministers and UMNO have the cheek to maintain the fiction that no money/asset is missing from 1MDB or that any fraud had occurred there. Astonishingly, the IGP rushed in with indecent haste to declare that there was no connection between the Equanimity and Jho Low.

How on earth could the water supply interruption in Selangor be remotely compared with Najib's 1MDB multi-billion ringgit national crisis?

Oh, how they will lie while wearing Islam on their sleeves!

Public flogging and castration may not be sufficient punishment for this government of thieves!

23/02/2018

BOMBSHELL! FELDA LOST RM4.5 BILLION 2013-2016! HOW MUCH DID FELDA GROUP LOSE? MORE LOSSES EXPECTED 2017!

by e.s. shankar, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for penekorek affairs




Please be clear that these accounts showing Felda's losses of RM4.5 billion relate to Felda and those of Felda Group, which own 33.7% of Felda Global Ventures Holdings Plc (FGVH) listed on the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange. These accounts do not include the P&L or Balance Sheet figures of FGVH Plc.

Felda directly owns 20% of FGVH share capital while the balance of 13.7% is held by Felda Asset Holdings Co S/B, a wholly owned subsidiary of Felda. Felda Group is therefore the single largest shareholder of FGVH.

Felda accounts are statutorily audited by the Auditor General's Department (AG). For the full audited accounts CLICK HERE.

For 2016, the AG has "qualified" the accounts by drawing attention to the continuous losses of RM4.5 billion for the 4 years from 2013-2016, dangerous cash flow deficit and bank debt of RM9 billion, as follows:


Felda lost close to RM4.5 billion between 2013-2016. However, the corresponding figures for the Group are nowhere to be found in the report. We can however assume that the Group losses are bound to be higher, probably about RM5 billion.



When Najib, who has taken on Felda as his pet project, suddenly announced the appointment of Shahrir Samad in January 2017 to replace Isa Samad as Felda Chairman, he did not outline the real disaster that had taken place at Felda. It of course reflects badly on Najib as a pathetic PM, as all top appointments to Felda and FGVH were made by him, and he has, through sheer incompetency and negligence, allowed the rot to set in at many a GLC.

The situation has taken a turn for the worse with MACC investigations having commenced over fraud allegations regarding  Felda's overseas and local hotel acquisitions, Jalan Semarak land in KL and other investments.

The detailed P&L shows that Felda's profits have also been dragged down by some RM12 million losses posted in 2015 & 2016 by its hotel division. Also, the 2015 Gross Loss of $14 million at Felda is a shocker! Shahrir's stated focus on selling assets like Maybank shares suggests he is clueless how to restore core business profitability.

Felda also has a big question mark over transparency on expenses, particularly:

1. Miscellaneous services - RM70 million (2015-RM56 million)
2. Miscellaneous expenses - RM68 million (2015-RM81 million)
3. Professional services - RM60 million (2015-RM42 million)
4. JV/Investment write-offs - RM60 million (2015-RM88 million)

Of concern too should be:
1. Investment in FGVH of RM4.7 billion whose market value is worth less than half its cost as the share price has tanked from its 2012 $4.55 IPO price to about RM2 currently, and as low as RM1.50.
2. FHVH RM1.69 billion in loans.
3. Dependency on FGVH for its lend lease debt of RM4.4 billion
4. Pretty stagnant palm oil prices plus threats of a EU ban.
5. Total bank loans and borrowings of RM9 billion, which will balloon further in 2017 due to the disastrous Eagle High Plantations, Indonesia (EHP) acquisition of RM2.26 billion, financed by a bank loan guaranteed by MoF!

Felda Group will likely see worse losses in 2017, given also its RM2.26 billion Investment in EHP which is now only worth RM620 million, a staggering write-down of RM1.64 billion in less than a year, and suspected to be a Najib fraud. Refer my earlier blog post. CLICK HERE.

The crux of Felda's problem is of course that of a half-past six prime minister with half-past six business acumen calling the shots, aided by political Chairmen appointees with even less business or  relevant management expertise.

I have said it before and I will say it again. Najib has the touch of the plague and the kiss of death about him. Everything he touches turns to dust and destruction.

When will UMNO/BN and the Malays learn not to allow mediocrity, incompetency and fraud to flourish?

16/02/2018

MALAYSIA NEW NATIONAL LITERARY AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED!

In an apparent effort to counter the perceived threat posed to "national unity" by the hugely popular and internationally renown George Town Literary Festival, Penang, prime minister Najib Razak aka Ajip Kor aka Appa s/o Bugisamy ordered the Ministry of Culture, Arts & Tourism to inaugurate the new Malaysia National Literary Awards.

Here are the 5 initial nominations, in no particular order, for the 2018 National Literary Awards proposed by the National Literary Awards Committee chaired by General (Retd) Phil I. Stine:

1. A Graduate's Guide To Selling Nasi Lemak by Mas Imams Ermieyati. Category: High Motivation

2. Bali Hai, Hong Kong Mai! by Papa Pornogoronogomo. Category: Pornography Faction

3. The Great ECRL $55 Billion Train Robbery by Ajib Kor Lonnie Biggs. Category: Rolling Stock ROTFLMAO OMG WTF!

4. The Blur Osun Stragedy by Rosy Arul Razak. Category: Grandmother Fairytales

5. Cowcondogate: A $250 Million Vertical Farming Suspense Thriller by Ali Baba and Bibi. Category: Horse-shit/Bull-shit Fiction

All prize winners will be notified after the general elections.

04/02/2018

BREAKING GE 14 NEWS! NAJIB TO RETURN RM2.6 BILLION!

by king sheikh-a-leg, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for royal house of saud donation affairs



Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak announced today that within 3 (three) working days of the Rakyat voting him to victory at GE 14, he would be refunding the Treasury $2.6 billion. He admitted that this momentous, but wholly voluntary and 'without prejudice' decision, had been arrived at after a 4-eyes meeting with Finance Minister Dato Seri Najib Tun Razak.

The breaking news was ecstatically received by UMNO President Dato Seri Haji Mohammad Tun Haji Abdul Razak bin Dato Haji Hussein who confirmed that the $2.6 billion would NOT be deposited into the PM’s personal bank account (akaun peribadi). However, he hastened to add that it also meant that the money could be construed (boleh di ibarat) as being for the benefit of UMNO after RoS verification (by 2050) of its 3 million membership and its financial standing by Chartered Accountants and Auditors, Detoilette Farker Randall & Co. (by 2051).



Meanwhile, 1MDB Chairman of Advisory Board and sole authority/signatory for all investments, MO1 aka Najib, maintained that no $2.6 billion cash or $30 billion of investments were missing from 1MDB’s bank accounts or in its financial accounts as confirmed by Chartered Accountants and Auditors, Detoilette Farker Randall & Co. (who withdrew their audit report in 2016).

In Kuala Lumpur, MCA President Ajip Kor congratulated PM Najib for resolving the 1MDB/SRC debacle where no $46 billion fraud had been committed. This was echoed by MIC President Appa Najib s/o Bugisamy who hailed Appa’s relentless ‘no stones unturned’ search in tracing the whereabouts of the non-missing and non-fraudulent $2.6 billion donation from unknown Arab Royalty, as truly inspiring. There were also celebrations at the UMNO Pekan Branch which held a tahlil for its Head, Bang Jib, for his generous donation to the Branch’s election funds.

In an immediate response too, UMNO said that they had informed the chief of PMO that Kepala Bapa Kau would be nominated as ‘2017 Man of the Year’ and be officially recognised as ‘Bapa Transport Moden’ for the $54 billion (NO OPEN TENDER) Kelang Valley MRT, the $30 billion (NO OPEN TENDER) Pan-Borneo Highway and the $55 billion fraudulent (also NO OPEN TENDER) ECRL, projects.

Elsewhere, High Court-declared 'Not Public Official' Najib whose salary is paid from public funds…..